How to Find Reasons to Love Yourself (and Why You Should)
How to Find Reasons to Love Yourself (and Why You Should)
Written by Natalie Glennon
For many of us, loving ourselves—or even just accepting ourselves as we are—is a daily struggle and a constant work in progress. That’s totally normal, especially when we think about how negativity bias creates our tendencies to dwell on harmful experiences and engage in negative self-talk. The good news is that when we make the conscious effort to love ourselves, we can effectively challenge this bias and foster a greater sense of self-confidence, stronger self-worth, and higher levels of happiness. The not-so-good news is that engaging in self-love is a lot easier said than done.
One simple practice that can help you embrace self-love is creating a self-love list. Essentially, this is just a list of the various things you might love about yourself. When we take the time to reflect on the ways in which we are loved—either by ourselves or someone else—we can shift our mindsets to focus on the positive aspects of our personalities and experiences. You can begin to achieve this growth by coming up with a list of about 10 different reasons to love yourself, and then putting this list in a place that provides you with a visual reminder to love yourself every day.
What to Put on Your Self-Love List
Creating a self-love list might seem simple, but it’s not necessarily easy. If you don’t know where to start, here are some things you can consider when coming up with your list of reasons to love yourself:
Core personality traits and values.
Have you ever thought about what you value most in yourself, or in general? Maybe it’s kindness, empathy, humor, or any number of traits that you find particularly impactful. These traits and values can be viewed as core aspects of your personality and thus extensions of yourself—so if you love those things on their own, then you have a reason to love yourself as well.
Things your friends love about you.
If you find it difficult to come up with this list on your own, ask your friends and loved ones what they love about you. Maybe they love your loyalty, your sense of humor, or their ability to confide in you. Friends can open your eyes to positive features you might not initially notice about yourself.
Things you love about the people around you.
Maybe you’ve heard the expression that what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves. This can be applied to all kinds of traits. When you notice something you admire in someone else, that’s likely because it resonates with you and you find it personally meaningful. Think about what you appreciate in other people—you might find that it reflects your own values, and you can extend that appreciation to yourself.
Your passions and interests.
When it comes to your interests, think about the things that make your face light up as soon as someone mentions it, or the things that you could talk about for hours. You might be able to find self-love in the unique ways in which you experience passion and joy.
The impact you have on the world around you.
It can be easy to overlook the impact that we have on others. Maybe you like to volunteer for your community, stand up against bullying, or give compliments to strangers. These acts of kindness have a ripple effect that positively impact the people and the environment around you. Because of those little actions, the world is a better place with you in it.
Ways in which you’ve grown and are growing.
Think about the struggles that you’ve overcome and how much you’ve grown over time. Take time to remind yourself that you are constantly evolving, and every version of yourself is deserving of love and compassion. Also, consider the ways in which you might be trying to better yourself as a person—that effort alone is a reason to love yourself.
We can never completely get rid of self-criticism and insecurity, but that’s okay—it’s part of the human experience. What we can do is challenge our negativity bias by making the conscious effort to show ourselves kindness and self-compassion. These efforts gradually change our perceptions of ourselves, our confidence levels, and our overall well-being. Hopefully, this practice reinforces the idea that you are inherently worthy of love exactly as you are, and you deserve to extend the love that you give others to yourself.